Friday, August 22, 2008


DOB - 8/19/08 at 10:19am.
Weight - 8lb, 12oz.
Length - 20in.
Hair - brown.
Eyes - blue.
Other attributes - small, cute, squeaky.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Yep, still waiting.

On August 11th, I had contractions that were regular, about 6-7 minutes apart, for almost 10 hours, and although they were uncomfortable, I wouldn't say that they were exceptionally painful or took all my attention. I was able to walk, breathe, putter around and eventually fall asleep.

By the morning of August 12th (my due date), the contractions were essentially gone and I had a major emotional meltdown. My wonderful doula, who is also a dear friend, came over and stayed all day, just to help me get over the disappointment of a stalled labor. I had a non-stress test at 8:15 that morning, and the baby did just fine. On August 13th, I had an ultrasound to check amniotic fluid, and that was also just fine, and the baby's heart was still beating away. Then I had a cervical check with my back-up OB, who didn't feel that my cervix was favorable for induction - even after all those contractions...sigh...

I have a doc appointment with my regular doctor on Wednesday - she's been on vacation since August 8th. I've decided that if my cervix looks good, we'll go for induction on August 22nd, and if it doesn't look good, we'll go for c-section on August 22nd. I'm not happy about submitting to further surgery, but it makes me really nervous to go too far post-dates. Pi was nine days late, and if Daffodil's birthday is August 22nd, that'll be 10 days. I think I've given her plenty of time to choose her birthday for herself.

I really just need to have an end point identified, especially after that long stretch of prodromal labor. I told my doula that it felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to take a dive that would surely be frightening, but also exhilarating and fun. So I'm just standing there, ready to take this great leap, processing all the emotions that go along with it, but the decision to actually jump is not mine to make. I have to wait for some outside cosmic force to propel me off the cliff and into my new adventure. I just can't teeter on this edge indefinitely.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Not even at my due date yet and I'm already going out of my tree. Pi was nine days late, so you'd think I'd be used to the waiting...not so much.

I'm just anxious to see her, to know for sure that she's OK, to hold her for myself and feel her breathing and her heartbeat. And I don't understand what on earth my body is doing right now.

With Pi, I lost my plug at 4:00 AM on a Saturday morning and went pretty immediately into regular, strong contractions that actually made me puke. I was at the hospital by 3:30 PM on Saturday and had him at 7:00 AM on Sunday.

Daffodil's plug came out at 2:00 AM on Saturday morning. August 2. Five days ago. Contractions are happening, and actually got kind of regular on Saturday, but petered out and haven't really come back with any strength or regularity since. Because I am "scary VBAC girl", the docs are nervous about letting me go past my due date, so we're probably looking at an induction on August 11th, which in one sense makes me relieved, but also makes the dream of the VBAC a bit more distant. It's definitely a lesson that every child is different, every labor and birth is different, but I'm already past marveling in the learning and am mired in the impatience and frustration stage.

I'm taking evening primrose oil, having acupuncture, getting my membranes swept (yowch) - I'm doing everything I can do to help this along. Smitty is being really great - encouraging, understanding, sweet. It's just really hard to be smacked in the face with the fact that this is truly not up to me, and I feel bad about forcing her to come out on Monday if she's obviously not ready yet. I have trouble just letting things go and be.